Joke time!!!! Gimme your best!!!

[Bypass]

“I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.
I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.”

 

[hamburglar3]

Dumbest in the world - fair warning...

Two cannibals were eating a clown when one turns to the other and says " does this taste funny to you?"

 

[forrestGUMP15]

The hot dogs taste like ****

 

[smokey30725]

Dumbest in the world - fair warning...

Two cannibals were eating a clown when one turns to the other and says " does this taste funny to you?"

I can beat that...........

What do you get when you breed and elephant with a rhinoceros? Hellifino.

 

[BLOODETTE23]

A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms. Being a curious young lad, the boy asked his father, "What are these things daddy?" His dad said, "Condoms son." The boy asked, "Why do they come in packs of 1,3, and 12?" The dad replied, "The packs with one are for the high school boys, one for Saturday night, the ones with three are for the college boys, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the ones with twelve in them are for the married men, one for January, one for February, one for March...."

 

[Bypass]

A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms. Being a curious young lad, the boy asked his father, "What are these things daddy?" His dad said, "Condoms son." The boy asked, "Why do they come in packs of 1,3, and 12?" The dad replied, "The packs with one are for the high school boys, one for Saturday night, the ones with three are for the college boys, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the ones with twelve in them are for the married men, one for January, one for February, one for March...."

Ha ha.

 

[heystranger]

Blind guy walks in a bar with a seeing eye dog. He grabs the dog by the back legs and spins him around and around over his head. The bartender shouts , "what are you doing" ? Blind guy says "just looking around"

 

[erkinator]

2 girls walk into a bar and sit to have a few. After a short moment the one gal askes the bartender wheres the party at?

Her friend looks to her and says don`t end your sentences with a preposition. first girl looks back and says, wheres the party at...B***h.

 

[BLOODETTE23]

HAHA Good one!!!!

Blind guy walks in a bar with a seeing eye dog. He grabs the dog by the back legs and spins him around and around over his head. The bartender shouts , "what are you doing" ? Blind guy says "just looking around"

 

[BLOODETTE23]

Skeleton walks into a bar. Says, "gimme a beer and a mop."