Looking for constructive criticism on a video I made

[deerhuntinghippie]

Well, Ive been wanting to do something like this for quite sometime. Over the past 2 months me and my wife and our two children have set out with the camera in hopes to make it happen. This is the first time I have put music and video to my writing so I would love some constructive criticism regarding the cinematography, the writing and the entirety of the piece in general. Looking back on it now, I wished I would have had more experience with sound editing. Some folks online have said the music is too loud and the voice over is too soft while others have told me they could hear it fine. Anyways, since it is related to hunting and fishing I thought I'd share it with yall.
Please let me know what y'all think.

 

[DreadPirate]

Fantastic! I really loved it.

Suggestions:
Writing: None
Cinematography: None
Camera: Not sure if it is a result of using auto-focus, or an intentional theme, but the change in focus (especially in the first half) seemed over-used to the point it distracted me. While a great effect, I would cut back on its use to increase impact.
Sound: Definitely a remix is needed. Bring the narration track way up to at least equal the soundtrack.

Thanks for sharing this, I very much hope you do other projects and put them on here!

 

[Mentos]

Nice piece. Has that darryl walking dead feel a bit in places. The poety and journey towards the out doors, is just a matter of personal preference. One cannot critique that. The overall flow is good, some of the shot selections (like the moon, felt a little out of place). Overall presentation had Hollywood quality to it.

Some suggestions, do you have any other pans or rack focus shots of the barb wire and truck? Just want to see if it could be smoother.

I will agree the audio track can be hot in a place or two, so where you have a voice track pot it down a tad.

 

[deerhuntinghippie]

Nice piece. Has that darryl walking dead feel a bit in places. The poety and journey towards the out doors, is just a matter of personal preference. One cannot critique that. The overall flow is good, some of the shot selections (like the moon, felt a little out of place). Overall presentation had Hollywood quality to it.

Some suggestions, do you have any other pans or rack focus shots of the barb wire and truck? Just want to see if it could be smoother.

I will agree the audio track can be hot in a place or two, so where you have a voice track pot it down a tad.

Wow, thanks guys for taking the time to watch and for the detailed critiques. It's feedback like this that helps me to make better videos. I hate that I didn't have more experience at the time with audio but my next one should be better.
I also have two small children who were with me and my wife while venturing out to gather footage. Some of the shots I was wanting to get were impossible due to my kids. It would have been too dangerous.
But I really can't say how much I appreciate the extensive feedback!

Fantastic! I really loved it.

Suggestions:
Writing: None
Cinematography: None
Camera: Not sure if it is a result of using auto-focus, or an intentional theme, but the change in focus (especially in the first half) seemed over-used to the point it distracted me. While a great effect, I would cut back on its use to increase impact.
Sound: Definitely a remix is needed. Bring the narration track way up to at least equal the soundtrack.

Thanks for sharing this, I very much hope you do other projects and put them on here!

 

[Mentos]

Extra sets of eyes always help when doing it yourself. I had a lot of edits for pieces when working for an art museum, and in the news for sweeps stories. So I feel ya. Deadlines are an editors worst enemy.

 

[Mentos]

Oh and no piece can ever be perfect. The more you watch something the ideas of how to make it better start, then second guessing what you have done... And it ends up like star wars ..

 

[Jack O A T]

Man, that was AWESOME! I've got no experience with film making, but I wouldn't change anything. I saw the low voice track as an internal dialog of sorts. Or whispers on a deer stand. Forces you to listen carefully.
Great poetry too! "... a place where neither blood nor pain is revered as cruel and the healed and the joyous go equally unnoticed" Deep and true right there, brother.

Of course, I just sub'd your channel! Keep up what you're doing!

 

[deerhuntinghippie]

Man, that was AWESOME! I've got no experience with film making, but I wouldn't change anything. I saw the low voice track as an internal dialog of sorts. Or whispers on a deer stand. Forces you to listen carefully.
Great poetry too! "... a place where neither blood nor pain is revered as cruel and the healed and the joyous go equally unnoticed" Deep and true right there, brother.

Of course, I just sub'd your channel! Keep up what you're doing!

Thanks so much Jack O A T that means a lot. I really appreciate you lending your time to give it a watch.

 

[Jlk1141]

Nice video, as Jack O A T, I no nothing about filming etc but nice to watch. Daydreaming about living a simple life in the wild is good for the soul. Actually doing it is for a brave soul. Thanks for sharing

 

[martin_j001]

I enjoyed it greatly. I noticed some of the same things as above, but still thought it was well worth the watch/listen as is. I look forward to your future videos!