The Official Little Johnny Joke Thread

[Don231s]

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "Every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there!'"

 

[Ex313]

 

[MuleShoe]

Lol! Now them was some good ones!

 

[WallsGa]

Johnny’s teacher was asking the class to identify and name the animals found in the ark.

She pointed to a picture of a cow, called on Mary, and asked her what animal it was. “It’s a cow,” says Mary. “That’s right, Mary. Good job.”

Teacher pointed to the next one, an elephant, called on Petey, and asked him to identify it...”It’s an elephant,” says Petey. “Correct, Petey. Good Job.”

Teacher pointed to a third picture, this time of a horse, and called on Johnny. “Johnny, what animal is this?” “I don’t know,” said Johnny.

“I’ll give you a hint. Sometimes when your dad comes home, he’ll say ‘I’m as hungry as a blank.’ “.

Johnny’s eyes suddenly went wide, his jaw dropped, and he went silent.

“Johnny, what’s wrong?” Asked Teacher.

Johnny could only reply, “ A mother f*#%er. A real live mother f*#%er.”

 

[SAR 6114]

These are great, Bwahahahahaha!!!!

 

[Glorfindel]

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love." the boy replied.

Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"

"With you!" he said.

"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"

 

[Putnambuck]

Little Johnny was in class one day and the teacher said she would say a letter of the alphabet and wanted each student to come up with a word using that letter. So she started with A and called on a kid....he said A-alligator, she said "very good" and went on to B, she got all the way to W and she had skipped over Little Johnny up to then. She tried to think of a dirty word he could use a W for but couldn't think of one so she crossed her fingers and said "Ok Johnny your letter is W". Johnny immediately said "W-Womb"...The teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said "Very good Johnny, womb, like where baby's are made" very good!
Little Johnny stood up and said "NO NO NO I mean WOOOM-WOOOM WOOOM...you know, the sound 2 elephants make when they're F*&^ing!!!!

 

[Bottoms polaris]

Love those little Johnny jokes.