These are great, thanks for the laugh.
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If you are having trouble changng your password please click here for help.
This is how I ended up with my old yahoo email address. After repeatedly trying to create a user name I would remember and being told "That user name already exists", I was staring at the screen with steam coming out of my ears looking at the prompt "Please enter an original user ID". For several years after that, my yahoo email address was Originalmyass@yahoo.com.
Been there with the "Password" PITA !
Couldn't use "Kimchi" ( the correct spelling) as that was already taken.
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This has been the funniest thread in a long time !
Yes, I have been back several times just for the laughs !
A Great Big Thank You to all Contributors !
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This has been the funniest thread in a long time !
Yes, I have been back several times just for the laughs !
A Great Big Thank You to all Contributors !
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I LOVE the thoughtless idiocy people commit. My wife and I spotted a falling down pump house in a yard where there was no longer a house. The wood was obviously old, rotted and the whole thing was a mess. Standing next to it(at a crooked angle) was a sign proudly advertising the services of a handyman/contractor...no job too small. LOL. We took a picture of the "display" but I can't find it or I'd post it.
In this vein:
And sometimes you don't get it done without a little help. So in the synergy department:
LOL ! GREAT LAUGHS ! ME AND THE WIFE LAUGHED SO HARD THAT THE TEARS WERE ROLLING ! GREAT POST ! MY SECRETARY CAME IN TO SEE IF SHE NEEDED CALL AMBULANCE THE SECOND READING OF THE CHILI CONTEST !
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He says,"What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!"
Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies..."I'M GOING TO VEGAS TOO. I WANT TO SEE YOU LIVE ON $800 A YEAR!"
He says,"What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!"
Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies..."I'M GOING TO VEGAS TOO. I WANT TO SEE YOU LIVE ON $800 A YEAR!"
A body builder took off his shirt and a blonde said, "What a big chest you have!'
He said,'That's 100 lbs. of TNT.' Then he took off his pants and she says, "What huge calves!'
'That's 100 lbs.of TNT.' He then removed his shorts and she ran out of the apt screaming in fear.
He put his clothes on and ran after her. 'Why did you run?'.
She said, 'I was afraid to be around all that TNT when I saw how short the fuse was!'----
He said,'That's 100 lbs. of TNT.' Then he took off his pants and she says, "What huge calves!'
'That's 100 lbs.of TNT.' He then removed his shorts and she ran out of the apt screaming in fear.
He put his clothes on and ran after her. 'Why did you run?'.
She said, 'I was afraid to be around all that TNT when I saw how short the fuse was!'----
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!'
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful!''
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael!'
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.
'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful!''
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids . "WOW," the social worker exclaims,"are they ALL YOURS?"
"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find seats. "Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."
"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy." "OK, and who's next?" "Well, this one he is Leroy, also." The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the oldest girl, named Leighroy! "All right," says the caseworker.
"I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?" Their Momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' 'An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes a runnin.'An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy."
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"
"I call them by their last names."
"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find seats. "Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."
"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy." "OK, and who's next?" "Well, this one he is Leroy, also." The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the oldest girl, named Leighroy! "All right," says the caseworker.
"I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?" Their Momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' 'An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes a runnin.'An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy."
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"
"I call them by their last names."
