Sorry, dude.
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Getting a Divorce ... any Advice?
- Thread starter reklawd
- Start date
I've given you **** in the past but in all seriousness I'm sorry hear you're going through this. It stinks for the kids the most. Adults can move on and understand. Just always make sure they know it's not them and you'll always be there. Hold your head up, it may not make sense now but one day it all will.
No advice but I do have a for real question. I completely get that parental values have grown way apart. When you have the kids you can instill the values you hold dear and she will do the same when she has them.. Do they really end up getting the values you wish for or do you spend your 2 weeks offsetting what she's done? Is it better or worse than being around them all yhe time in spite of her? No suggestions or advice just genuinely curious though I don't think there is a definitive answer.
To be quite frank I’ve always thought you were a bit of a jerk. That said, sorry you are going through this, you, your wife and your kids are in my prayers. Your focus on your kids is admirable and in my opinion spot on where it should be. You and your wife are adults and both no doubt have a degree of culpability in this. None of this was the kid’s choice or doing. No kid is going to have a perfect childhood, yours won’t be different in that regard but above all else let them know you are someone they can always count on no matter what. Kids need that. They especially need that when they have this kind of turmoil in their lives. Sounds like you have a good example and mentor in your dad. Lean on that. Church kids aren’t perfect but they are a better than average peer group. Hope if y’all aren’t involved in a church you find one with a great youth group. Absolute best wishes to you through this.
This is absolutely my number #1 concern and has been for a while
Two of my best mentors through this are female boomer lawyers, both have been through divorces themselves, including one that spent time as a guardian ad litem. The one that was a GAL was anti 50/50 for this exact reason ... the family law and courts are much more in favor of 50/50 than ever before as they think it is "in the best interest of the children." But the reality is his house, her house creates a ton of confusion for them and the main reason I can see it as the best interest is to reduce conflict during the separation and divorce process.
The best way to overcome this confusion is to be on the same page with your co-parent ... but if you are ending the marriage because you are no longer on the same page ...
Don‘t overthink it.
You’re gonna get screwed.
Bend over and take it like a man.
You’re gonna get screwed.
Bend over and take it like a man.
Good luck Dwalk. You seem to have a good handle on the situation.
You have three sides to every story. Yours , hers , and the truth. I have been married for 33 years and the only marital advice I ever accepted was from someone that had / has been married longer than I have.
" I wanted to move to the mountains, but we are settling for the northern suburbs as she wants to stay around the rich neo lib hypocrites here in the city. She has done nothing to accommodate my desires for change, nor even given me an outlet "
It seems like politics has destroyed another family ?
" I wanted to move to the mountains, but we are settling for the northern suburbs as she wants to stay around the rich neo lib hypocrites here in the city. She has done nothing to accommodate my desires for change, nor even given me an outlet "
It seems like politics has destroyed another family ?
