The List of Offensive Shooting Range Stereotypes

[erkinator]

9. The Homie

Formerly considered a sub-variant of the Punk-Ass Amateur, the Homie has been sighted in sufficient numbers to grant him his own category. His arrival will be heralded by the booming bass coming from a stereo more powerful than the car he put it in. Drives a blinged-out import car or a lowered SUV, anything that would look at home in “The Fast and the Furious”. Like the Punk-Ass Amateur, will bottom out two or three times on the poor road leading to the range. Weapons will generally match his vehicle for sheer tackiness and lack of practicality. If he has the money he will own a Desert Eagle, in .50 calibre, with a gold chrome finish. Will definitely have a Glock 9mm, as it is what all his heroes on MTV carry. Actually thinks shooting with the weapon canted 90 degrees to the left is effective; cannot understand why the ejected brass keeps hitting him in the face. Dress of the Homie is distinctive and usually follows a theme of a ludicrously oversized track suit, lots of chunky 8-karat gold chains, designer sunglasses that cost more than his guns, and a particularly offensive cologne he applies with a cropduster. Likes to speak in ebonics and flash gang signs. Parents are tax attorneys and live in a gated community. Would likely wet himself if ever confronted by real gangsters

Do you know why they hold the pistol 90 degrees to the left? Wait for it.......................................................... It comes that way in the box.

 

[TacShooter]

Hey,,,I saw 7,8,and 9 all at Range and guns in forest park today.This post was great reading by the way.

 

[poppy926]

Hey, Hey, Hey now. I dont drink rye.

 

[Joker82]

This should be printed out and posted at ranges everywhere, for all to see.

 

[Hayata]

My @fastfish66 contribution on a Thursday afternoon...

 

[letusbuyyourcar]

Is there a column for " Do I really have to read all this ****? Never mind I'll just shoot in the back yard and go in the house when the deputies roll through."

 

[GAgunLAWbooklet]

I wasn't here in 2012.

Thanks for bumping this very funny thread.

I've been the "Grandpa" before, trying to teach impatient young kids raised on first person shooter video games the art of actual marksmanship.

Sometimes I'll experiment with crazy shooting positions or techniques just to see how they work. That doesn't make me a "Punk Ass Amateur" but I've looked like one for a few minutes here and there. I have shot rifles one handed before. I've experimented using red dot sights with the front lens cap still in place. I have tried shooting two nearly identical pistols at the same time, one in each hand. (That did not work out very well at all --nothing like Bruce Willis managed to do in Last Man Standing with his twin 1911s.)

 

[Abbsnkan]

this list is missing one

ohhh wait, the guy who wrote this list. lets call him the prejudgemental my S*** dont stink because i have a degree in badassery and guns. usually likes to pretend hes friends with everyone in the range (except hes a full fledged douche) and probably has alot of guns and shoots alot (which means he doesnt have a life outside of hanging around other sorry sad cased dudes at the range, hurray). you can find him wearing black most of the time (except for the speckled white flakes of dandruff on his latest GLOCK t shirt) and usually will start off with a pretentious no nothing comment he will rudely interject into someones elses conversation as if he were a walking wikipedia about guns and assumes everyone else knows nothing. lives on gun chat boards when hes not around the gun range itself. goes into way to much detail about firearms and who makes what, also knows every tactical situation ever and has pulled guns on people before for being stupid or unsafe (logic and legality by damned because hes a hardcore mother****er who knows alot of cops, but isnt one himself). speaking of cops most of his stories are outlandish lies that he swallowed and regurgitated from other half truths stemming from the pages of guns and ammo "it happened to me" section. of course when confronted with a possible hostile situation, his first reaction is to st--st-studder whispered threats and backpace as much as possible. ohh and when hes not an ex member of some small time who gives a **** police swat unit, hes a cowboy and a byronic hero out of a damn johnny cash song.

if i had to fit into any of the categories, im the guy who goes to the range when i can and just shoot and leave. maybe an hour there tops. i bring 4 or 5 guns sometimes at most, and i shoot whatever ammo i brought with me

Does this guy shoot a $1500 Kimber and love to give unsolicited advice about how your Glock is a Honda Civic, 45vs9 mm drama queen and has a target thatlookslikehes firing buckshot? I know this guy

 

[Control for Smilers]

im a hippy.

 

[chucklenut]

Does this guy shoot a $1500 Kimber and love to give unsolicited advice about how your Glock is a Honda Civic, 45vs9 mm drama queen and has a target thatlookslikehes firing buckshot? I know this guy

lol i forgot i wrote that

holy **** i was angry 7 years ago