I'd go with either a S&W Shield in 9mm, or a 357 Magnum/38sp. Revolver
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It's about respect with kids and definitely the mysteryDon't let it be a a mystery to her kids either. They should be shown how destructive a gun can be by shooting at filled milk jugs or watermelons, etc. We've done that with all my nieces and nephews and never had an issue with unsupervised handling or misuse of a firearm.
I've spent lots of time with new shooters/owners and when asked the question the OP posits, I find that women who buy a semi-auto that can be manipulated or loaded easily tend to get more comfortable more quickly than those that buy revolvers.
4 inch barreled Smith and Wesson K-Frame revolver.I have been thinking about getting my stepdaughter her first firearm(handgun) for Christmas. What is your advice for the first firearm for a female shooter w/kids at home? She has children ages 5-16, so safety is a concern. Obviously, safe storage of said firearm would be her responsibility. Should I look at a revolver, or semiauto? The next question is caliber 9mm, 38, 45? I guessing this may be her only handgun for a while and she may elect to get her carry permit, but for the time being I'm assuming it will be her only weapon for a while. So reliability, safety and ease of function would be big issues as well. Anyhow, fire away and let me know what you would suggest. Thanks.