Can't choose your family

[Asbestos]

It’s a lousy situation to be sure… but my experience with it is a little different.

I was your sibling about 25 years ago but without the theft and job hopping. But, I wasn’t exactly dependable, trustworthy or honest. Regardless, my ultra successful brother (older) eventually gave up and focused on his own life. So did my sister and many friends…

Ultimately, I got my life together and quit using things designed to hurt me while making me feel “better”. Without the enabling, I was left with 2 choices… go on and die or change things. I wouldn’t have gotten to that point had people kept bailing me out of my problems.

I have an amazing relationship with both of them today. So… you will do more good by cutting ties and moving on with your life. If they ever get their **** together, re evaluate

 

[Eggmanmja01]

One of my older brothers was a real POS. Wherever I went locally, he owed somebody something. I paid his debt without even telling him. Drugs, Alcohol and Gambling. Paid on Friday, broke on Saturday. Always wanting something. He died a few years ago. My father is sleeping well at night.

 

[Bushwick100]

My oldest brother Albert , he's A complete Super Dick Head, he refused to put money into my mothers Death policy insurance, the money was for her funeral expenses, it was split by 4 brothers, then we find out he had a Complete different policy on her so he can collect all the money. I was not mad at him because he's always been a selfish SOB, we haven't spoken in over 20years, he would treat my mother like crap in front of his friends, he made the mistake of raising his voice to my mother in front of my brother Nelson, I thought Nelson would kill, him after Albert woke up from his ass kicking he was like why didn't you help me, I was like if had my way I would have kicked you when you were unconscious, my oldest brother Albert is such a dick that my wife and son hate him, things he did to them during our families reunion's , I warned them don't deal with him, my brother a Marine told me that now that he knows his history, I should not have joined the military, told him to Kiss my Red White and Blue ass. There will be no more family reunion's with my brothers they haven't spoken to me in exactly 1 year because, I refused to fly to Alaska with my wife and kids, why would I fly to Alaska when my aunt and all my hundreds of cousins live in Long Island New York, I told my aunt why my brothers were mad at me, she said to HELL with them, Alaska is far, the women in my big family run all the family issues. My brother Albert went to my mothers place when she passed and took all the jewelry or anything of value, I got what I wanted my mothers family albums, my other 2 brothers wanted to go looking for Albert to kick his ass, I was like mom just passed, lets be civil at the Wake and Funeral, I gave everything in my mothers place to anyone who wanted it, that's what she would have wanted. I can go on and on, about my oldest brother, the one thing that kills him the most is that he wants to move to Atlanta, but he can't because no one likes him.

 

[Toothlesswun]

I have not spoke to my mother in 5 years, she always disliked my wife and tried to separate us every chance she got, then she tried to poison my children against their own mother, when I discovered that she was out. The last thing I said to her was the in my mind she was dead and gone and I never wanted to see or hear from her again, two weeks later I received an itemized bill from her for every dime she had ever spent on my behalf, starting at birth with the hospital bills.

 

[lostchild]

Hearing these stories always make me glad I was a spoiled only child.

My second wife’s older brother was one of those who was always in trouble, always bailed out by the parents, always just in the wrong place at the wrong time. My wife was on auto-pilot, everything was about the first-born son. Tens (hundreds?) of thousands of dollars bailing him out of more crap than I can remember. Stolen cars, insurance fraud, Drugs. God knows what else they covered up for him. The Golden Child and the second-born afterthought.
Justice prevailed in that his lifestyle brought him to an early death.
The downside, wife’s dad got a divorce, remarried to a woman who had a son that was a clone of the dad’s deadbeat progeny, became rinse and repeat. Sent him to an early grave, his first family all cut out of inheritance by wife #2.
Good times with family.

 

[xlr8ngn]

It’s a lousy situation to be sure… but my experience with it is a little different.

I was your sibling about 25 years ago but without the theft and job hopping. But, I wasn’t exactly dependable, trustworthy or honest. Regardless, my ultra successful brother (older) eventually gave up and focused on his own life. So did my sister and many friends…

Ultimately, I got my life together and quit using things designed to hurt me while making me feel “better”. Without the enabling, I was left with 2 choices… go on and die or change things. I wouldn’t have gotten to that point had people kept bailing me out of my problems.

I have an amazing relationship with both of them today. So… you will do more good by cutting ties and moving on with your life. If they ever get their **** together, re evaluate

That's great you turned things around, and made amends with your family. Thanks for sharing, and giving me some hope he can indeed change. I think he's at that point of losing literally everything and being on the street, but he has to choose.

 

[Asbestos]

That's great you turned things around, and made amends with your family. Thanks for sharing, and giving me some hope he can indeed change. I think he's at that point of losing literally everything and being on the street, but he has to choose.

Over the last 20 years, I’ve met your sibling 1000 times. The ones that are still alive lost everything and wound up on the street.
With a bit of prayer and tough love from people like you, he might eventually realize that you love him enough to do something incredibly hard… like let him lose everything and wind up homeless. Reality is an excellent motivator

 

[Just Plain Bill]

Haven't really cut off contact with anyone I just don't work at staying in touch with anyone but my Mom and Sister her family and my Brother, my children and grandchildren. All my grandparents and my Dad and one brother have passed. Only one living aunt, no living uncles. My cousins are spread across the world. We speak when we see each other (funerals) but other than that I haven't spoken to any of them since around 2008.
Guess they're not necessarily bad folks just not my kind of folks. They'd probably say the same about me.

My sister and mom talk to them and give me any news that they find interesting. Suits me to a T.

 

[Gunny Jake]

Wayyyyy back when I was coming home from my first deployment my parents traveled to NC for my homecoming. While my parents were out of town for a week my brother and a family friend hosted a party for their customers. I say customers because my brother and this family friend had committed to be drug dealers. They had a wild party for their drug-head customers. Some things were stolen from the house to included my prized Marlin 336A. This was back when a locked gun cabinet with a glass door and a lock you can pick with a paper clip was good enough. Good enough unless someone invites the pukes of society into the home to shop around. I came home on leave and had to investigate which drug head was holding my deer rifle. Honestly I don’t have anything against all drug heads, just the ones who steal or lie or backstab good people to support their habits or empire. Why did I have to investigate and track things down, because drug heads are only thinking about their next head changer. The drug heads who hosted the party weren’t conflicted with any semblance of “responsibility for their actions”. It’s sickening. My brother passed away last July at 52. He was a good-hearted guy but he chose the wrong people and the wrong goals. Most of those people are either passed away or almost passed away and/or regretting their life decisions. If I could turn back time (Thanks Cher) I would have gone to the sheriffs department and asked for assistance and I would drop names. I’d also let that one way up their criminal dude across the county know who burglarized his fields and drying house. Why would I turn back time and snitch? Because the whole world would be better off nowadays and the past 32 plus years would’ve been less corrupt and less sickening. I guess the moral of this passage is; “Making America Great Again” should include making the family destroying pusher man the target of Justice again. Amen!

 

[basstracker89]

All we have is my Dad, Sister, Nephew and Mother in Law. My wife's Brother's family has left. My Dad is difficult. Always has been, but I still try to do the right thing. My Sister and I are completely different, but we can talk. My Nephew seems to be a good kid. My Mother in Law is fine. We take care of both sets of parents. Our siblings have no clue. Now I understand my Brother in Law being with his family and his Wife's family. But her parents are all gone and she has turned her family against us. Their loss. I told my Sister we have to stay close because we're all we have. I think she agrees. I will help her or anyone else morally as much as I can. But I tell them, they have to do the work. My Sister found that out. My Dad took a trip a few years ago. I don't think the plane had even landed yet and she was calling me wanting money. I made her sweat it out for a little while. She found another way. I do give my Nephew a little money. But he seems to have a little sense. He keeps it up, he will do well in life. Just keep listening to his Uncle is what I tell him.
As far as the extended families, they've all gone their separate ways. I was close to my cousins for most of our lives. I know they're busy with their lives and families, but we don't see each other anymore. Mostly because their families fell apart