She's so bow legged she couldn't hem a pig in a ditch.She ain't bow legged she's pleasure bent.
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If it's wet outside or something "it's slicker than owl sh*t" or if your telling them something about being happy, a friend told me this one it's kind of rough but it cracks me up..."I was happier than a bulldike in the back corner of home depot."
The gas gauge is sittin on "walk".