Idiot Amazon delivering on Sunday at 8pm in an unmarked van!

[albatros43]

Ahhh snap, I'm gonna cap someones ass if they show up a 8pm!

View attachment 1421913

As well you should

 

[powerplusdude]

It was 6:15 p.m., well after dark when I heard a car door close out front. I set down my natty light, grabbed my AK with the canted sights, and dove over the couch and rolled out the back door. I low crawled around the corner past the begonias and popped up out of the shrubs like I was the gopher on Caddyshack. There stood a man looking at me like a opossum in the headlights as I blinded him with my 2.5 million lumen q-beam tac light. He was so scared he dropped everything he had in his hands and took off running. I fired off a porch pop (warning shot) which caught him in his elbow and he hit the ground. I bladed away retreating into the azaleas so I could better asess the situation. He popped back up and jumped into a budget truck with a fed-ex magnet on the door so I knew he'd be easy for the authorities to locate. They located him down at the wall-greens minute clinic getting a bandaid. After all that, Amazon has the nerve to deny my claim that my flaming wolf painting that I forgot I ordered was damaged when he dropped it. Talk about poor customer service!

WINNER!

 

[palmettomoon]

Nice to see so many trusting souls on here that would answer a knock at the door or doorbell by someone you don't know and are not expecting. I am sure thugs and thieves will rejoice at your willingness to open the door and let them in. I am also sure thugs and thieves never drive unmarked vehicles and never ring a doorbell at night or pretend to be someone else to get you to open the door. Best wishes to all.

There was a white boy in a Trayvon hoodie banging on a neighbor's front door last week screaming "Police!" I doubt he was the police. We're just funnin' you a little.

 

[StuP]

Quadruple bonus if she's bored.
Quintuple bonus if she cannot remember her vows.
SEXtuple bonus if she's not busy and hubby's not supposed to be home for a while.

Grand prize if she likes to have deviant sex with neighbors.

There's a house I pass by almost daily that has a box in his front yard with UPS, FedEx, etc. painted on it. Presumably this is where he wants his packages delivered.

And stolen from ?

I just rely on the sharks with laser beams that swim in the 20' moat, takes care of the unexpected. I've never had to resort to the boiling oil poured from the south tower, which is a bit of a shame really.

 

[ItBeMe]

I always have unmarked vehicles with just there parking lights on coming up my long wooded drive and stop half way. So I grab my gun and head out to check, And dam it is so dark in the woods you can't see anything.And it ends up they are undercover cops and there we are in a dark woods with guns drawn. I will take a UPS guy any day.

 

[ReservoirDawg10]

Sounds like you are looking for an excuse to grab your gun and make a scene.

 

[BIKER13]

Dont Kill The Jehovahs Witness

 

[StuP]

Dont Kill The Jehovahs Witness

The reason being ?

 

[BIKER13]

The reason being ?

they are harmless,just annoying.

 

[Amplifize]

Come to where I lay my head at night and you'll be at the end of a fire stick