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ODT Brain Trust - dating advice

LOL, I don't mean to laugh. That would be a perfect world, but we both know the world is far from perfect.
The best thing I can say is be happy living by yourself. Far cheaper and less drama. A female is a very expensive proposition and responsibility. A older female is going to be hard set in her ways, like you. And they're usually self sufficient by then, as you are. So in their mind, they don't need a man unless it pays them well. And women have more patience to wait this out than we do.
My father,like you in age. Has been widowed 3 times. He is now trying to get a wife from Asia. She is 50yrs his junior. After the last nightmare, here we go again. After seeing all the problems with a later in life relationship, I might well stay single. If she approached me, I'd decline. From here, it looks like a nightmare
The best answer yet he wins the prize👍
 
Preface - I am a person of mature years - very mature years. I'm not married, no kids, no financial financial responsibilities other than day to day expenses, reasonably good income, still working.

That said, I do like to indulge myself with a lady friend, usually of equally mature years, in an evening of grown up entertainment, meaning dressing up, a nice dinner at a top rated restaurant, a show somewhere like the Fox, after dinner drinks, and then whatever adventures may come my way.

The problem - I have been following the Fani Willis drama pretty closely. Fani is being lauded as a "strong, independent, black woman". Her motto (for real) is "a man is not a plan, a man is a companion". She and the hired help she has been shagging have traveled on his dime to Napa Valley, Belize, Aruba, a cruise, and according to her, because she is not going to be dependent on any man, being the strong independent woman she is, she has always paid her half of the love jaunts to her honey bunch in cash - often several thousand dollars.

I like strong independent women, so at the as our evenings of the good life are winding down, I have started asking my companion if she considers herself a strong independent woman, (most of them being relatively highly educated, and having good jobs with lots of responsibility) and they usually respond in the affirmative. So I ask them to prove it by giving me half the cost of the evening's entertainment in cash - just so we know where we both stand power wise - i don't want to insult her by assuming the historical role of the dominant male in a developing relationship, and so it's clear that I am not denying her self image as a strong independent woman,

So far, the responses (about 5) have been universally the same, "FU", and it's not meant as an invitation. The evening festivities came to a screeching halt.

Question: For the brain trust, how can I show that I am a sensitive new age man, who wants to affirm my companion's role as a strong independent woman, who does not need the support of man, and only needs a companion?

Just don't be a "sensitive, new age man".

The only people who tell you that are going to be women, and women typically have no idea what they actually want. This is why they spend their late teens and 20's sleeping around or pining for 'exciting men' and then when they hit thirty they'll "settle" for someone to hang around and pay the bills.

Don't listen to what they say - watch how they behave. They want a man who is not a doormat. Be forthright. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Hold them to standards. Don't let them use you as a piggy bank. Set up that first meeting as something lower impact, minimal cost. Maybe you do pay (but as I say - keep that first meeting "cheap"), and tell her she can cover 'next time'. See what the reaction is and act accordingly. Watch how she treats the people who serve you.

Especially at these womens' age, no matter how attracted to them you are, there's some guy out there who's sick of her bull****.
 
You came to a place full of overweight, misogynistic, sometimes r*cist, old men that think very highly of themselves and "wisdom", for dating advice...good luck with that one man. Try not to think to deep into it and just be a good thoughtful dude. If they're offended by you being a man...she ain't the one lol.
What's your point...?
 
Question: For the brain trust, how can I show that I am a sensitive new age man, who wants to affirm my companion's role as a strong independent woman, who does not need the support of man, and only needs a companion?
Put your hair up in a man bun and wear capri pants on your dates. She'll get the message loud and clear.
 
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