Anybody ever buried a parent and felt like the world was lifted off your shoulders

[Asbestos]

So sorry, brother… I understand the “weight lifted off your shoulders” comment as I lost my mom last June after 12 years of Alzheimer’s disease and my dad passed 5 months later, last November. I’m more comfortable knowing they’re safe now. I had no idea how much fear I was in until they were gone. I don’t have to worry about terrible falls, abusive old folks home staff, suffering… it’s truly a relief, but I miss them both terribly.

We had our share of problems… permanent problems but they’re now gone, too. palmettomoon gave great advice… the freedom comes with letting go sometimes. Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies.

Prayers up for you and yours, my friend.

 

[spistols]

Sorry for your family's pain during this time.

We don't realize what we have until we don't have it any longer. With age comes wisdom. Mark these feelings and come back to them when you are in your 80's and see if they have changed. Every person handles life differently, which makes us nothing but human.

 

[nwbn90]

When my grandfather died, it was a sobering feeling but I wasn’t devastated, I fought that for a long time, guilty for not being more sad. We had a good relationship, although he was a “my way or the highway” type. As time has passed I’ve realized I miss him, but proximity doesn’t equate to close relationally.

I guess my point is don’t let emotions or guilt get in the way of truth, eventually they all line up.

 

[Trailrider]

Sorry for your loss and what you've had to go through with him. Definitely not how a dad should be but like other's said you just have to let it go and move on, be there for your mom. Sounds like you are already doing that.

It's weird, I lost my mom young and would give anything to have another minute with her. My dad on the other hand my brother and I went through quite a rough patch with him due to some things he put us through when we were younger, my mother too. He was very selfish and only cared about his own happiness. They had split before she passed and I think her unexpected passing is what changed him. He apologized and asked for our forgiveness for what all he'd put us through. It's been over 20 years now so things are better but still not like we were with our mom. It's hard to just shake those feelings away.

 

[eightnsand]

"My heart had wings", cliche as **** but it was beautiful. We move forward. One may look back but don't dwell there.
Very real that our tolerance for B.S. drops to zero as we age. Fair winds and a following sea. 8

 

[TrueGrit]

My wife's dad died last year and she was the only sibling out of 3 to attend his funeral and celebration of life. You just need move on, my wife hoped things would get better even after trying for 50+ years.

 

[10thmountain]

Sometimes parents or other folks teach how "Not to be". Its a hard lesson.

 

[Ballvina]

sorry for your loss, to find the peace you have been missing
death can be a funny thing, it either lifts some unseen burdens or brings to light some ugly unforeseen ones
chin up and keep stepping forward

 

[Bushwick100]

Sorry for your loss, I never had a dad. But, my Aunt and Grandmother raised me.

 

[medium187mph]

Felt that my friend… my kids are nearly grown and have both parted ways from my mother and father… peace be with you man