Anybody ever buried a parent and felt like the world was lifted off your shoulders

[Just Plain Bill]

Sorry for your loss and that of your Mom. I hope that time will heal the wounds you both carry.

Funny how things can be with family. My Dad was the best friend I'll ever had. Even as a teenager given the choice of working with him or hanging out with friends, I'd work with him every time. My mom... different story but no reason to get into that snake pit.

 

[basstracker89]

Have always loved and protected my mother, even though she was blind of all the evil he brought to the situation.
She stood by him thick and thin.
I've made peace with myself 10 years ago and always pushed myself to Excell in raising my own kids.
And never made a difference in my kids.
I saw their strengths and weaknesses and pushed them to respect themselves and their strengths.
They have made me very proud.
They have also admitted they had no use for my father as well
All this time I thought I'd hid my scars to them.
But they saw all of it.
This was a surprise, yet it instilled in me that I'd done my job as a parent , for them to know how to read people.
We talking a 33 year old daughter and a 22 year old son.
My daughter is a degreed school teacher.
And bless her heart, she is just like me.
I guess I don't understand how a parent can not hope for the absolute best life has to offer for a child that they put on this earth.
I never felt that growing up except from my mother and Grandfather.
I'm very blessed to have the kids I have.

Well done. It was because of my parents and home life I had, I didn't have kids. I still stand by that. My sister's son has as little to do with him as possible. Can't blame him. I would've been a very strict parent. My wife would've been a good mother. If the kid didn't hate me and survived it, they'd have done well in life

 

[basstracker89]

Super short "advice?" You're going to have to let this go. I had to let a lot of feelings drop from my baggage train so I could "be there" and was the only one left willing to deal with the physical care & safe keeping of mine.

Amen Sir!!! Well done!!!......

 

[OttoMan]

Whatever he did or whatever happened, the guy was your father. And so, I am so sorry for all the rough rides thru life. As our brother palmettomoon said “You have to let it go… “ — When My Mom passed away in 2006, I caught my Dad talking shiiit about my Mother and I went ballistic, verbally… After this, The man totally cut me off his life for 12 years… Even said to others that I was just nothing for him. But I kept trying, and let go a lot of bad mouth talking he always had against me… public humiliation or bad talking about me, my brothers and my mother, in front of us, some times….BUT it is all gone… We connected back again, the man is totally different and has such a great respect for me. He is a solid, healthy and lucid 87 year old guy, with such a health that I wish I can be like him at that age.

 

[palmettomoon]

Whatever he did or whatever happened, the guy was your father. And so, I am so sorry for all the rough rides thru life. As our brother palmettomoon said “You have to let it go… “ — When My Mom passed away in 2006, I caught my Dad talking shiiit about my Mother and I went ballistic, verbally… After this, The man totally cut me off his life for 12 years… Even said to others that I was just nothing for him. But I kept trying, and let go a lot of bad mouth talking he always had against me… public humiliation or bad talking about me, my brothers and my mother, in front of us, some times….BUT it is all gone… We connected back again, the man is totally different and has such a great respect for me. He is a solid, healthy and lucid 87 year old guy, with such a health that I wish I can be like him at that age.

Man, my mom had a heart attack, then a stroke at about 62 years of age. She recovered about 90% after a year or so. After she died 5 years later, I was ironing a shirt and my dad starts talking about his new soon to be wife and how all the people at her church thought he was a such a saint for staying with my mom after her health declined due to the MI and stoke. I looked at him and told him flatly, "Harold, if I ever hear you say my mother's name again or mention her to me in any way, I will kill you with my bare hands."

He never spoke her name or mentioned my mother again in my presence. He married way, way above his station when he convinced her to marry him.

 

[OttoMan]

Man, my mom had a heart attack, then a stroke at about 62 years of age. She recovered about 90% after a year or so. After she died 5 years later, I was ironing a shirt and my dad starts talking about his new soon to be wife and how all the people at her church thought he was a such a saint for staying with my mom after her health declined due to the MI and stoke. I looked at him and told him flatly, "Harold, if I ever hear you say my mother's name again or mention her to me in any way, I will kill you with my bare hands."

He never spoke her name or mentioned my mother again in my presence. He married way, way above his station when he convinced her to marry him.

Oh Man, you don’t want know what I said. But I started like “Listen, I gonna talk to you like a Man here, a very crazy angry one… Man to Man…” But I was screaming, Almost exploding… lol

 

[Blue bio balls]

Real dad blew his head off:"adoptive dad" threw that beat down game solid. Moved out at 14...****em both.

 

[basstracker89]

Real dad blew his head off:"adoptive dad" threw that beat down game solid. Moved out at 14...****em both.

As I remember, I would've left at 8yrs old. But at least I knew I couldn't

 

[Blue bio balls]

As I remember, I would've left at 8yrs old. But at least I knew I couldn't

Wouldn't have been unheard of..

 

[karlvv30]

I've tried drinking away the torture from my past. It didn't work. I'm fat and miserable still. I can't tell you how to fix it but I know being around good people helps. There aren't alot of those around anymore.