Pro tip:If you have a truck stop near by, buy a 10$ tire thumper. You can also go to Home Depot and buy a 24 inch (3/4) piece of black iron pipe. One whack from one of those and it’s game over . I do agree with the dude that has repeatedly suggested the pepper spray. All in all you got away unharmed and no one was shot, so consider it a win.
DO NOT get pepper spray on your hands and then go take a whizz.
edit to add:
genius that I am, even after posting the above, I just halved and seeded a dozen jalepenos, went to pee without washing hands.
Think the little guy is on fire.
Possible upside: soap him up and scrub, and scrub…