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Has anyone ever woke themselves up by farting
- Thread starter Survivor Johnny
- Start date
The dilemma about farting in bed is that at first you WANT to do it.
You know it feels really good, especially if you can easily fall back asleep afterward.
Just roll over raise one leg, cut loose, and then fall back into a blissful sleep for a minute (until the smell catches up to you.)
Since you never know, with the first flatulence of the night, what the smell will be or how bad it might be, you don't know whether you should look forward to relieving the pressure or feel trepidation at the gas attack that you're about to launch on yourself.
I know more than a couple nights I woke up from the urge to relieve the gas pressure, and I did so happily at first, but then that same fart just wouldn't end. It continued on and on; what I thought would be a little one-second toot turned out to be an 11 second tornado of high-pressure methane.
My eyes would get as big as saucers listening to that noise going on, and wondering how much fresh air I'm displacing in the bedroom.
Sometimes I wish my bedroom had a suspended ceiling so I could have an automatic oxygen mask drop-down system like commercial passenger planes have when they lose cabin pressurization.
Some of those long high-volume gas releases would survey trigger the dropping of those little yellow face masks with the clear plastic oxygen lines, from my bedroom ceiling down towards the bed.
You know it feels really good, especially if you can easily fall back asleep afterward.
Just roll over raise one leg, cut loose, and then fall back into a blissful sleep for a minute (until the smell catches up to you.)
Since you never know, with the first flatulence of the night, what the smell will be or how bad it might be, you don't know whether you should look forward to relieving the pressure or feel trepidation at the gas attack that you're about to launch on yourself.
I know more than a couple nights I woke up from the urge to relieve the gas pressure, and I did so happily at first, but then that same fart just wouldn't end. It continued on and on; what I thought would be a little one-second toot turned out to be an 11 second tornado of high-pressure methane.
My eyes would get as big as saucers listening to that noise going on, and wondering how much fresh air I'm displacing in the bedroom.
Sometimes I wish my bedroom had a suspended ceiling so I could have an automatic oxygen mask drop-down system like commercial passenger planes have when they lose cabin pressurization.
Some of those long high-volume gas releases would survey trigger the dropping of those little yellow face masks with the clear plastic oxygen lines, from my bedroom ceiling down towards the bed.
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I would like to add, pickled eggs substitute nicely and add to the "Butt feel" complexity.
Just because you can resurrect a thread doesn't mean you should resurrect a thread.
Fart hater
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Anyone know what happened to OP?
Last here Tuesday at 9:01. Don't see many posts from him anymore. Maybe he got a life.
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I hear it can happen. Thought it was just a rumor.
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Years back when I was married one night my hound let one rip that smelled so bad we woke up gagging and screaming. Had to open the window's, turn the ceiling fan on, and evacuate the bedroom. I miss that dog.
