i promised my wife (man i scrwed up)

[KauaiGirl_19]

I disagree.. It's strictly based on situational factors. Both of my parents are on their 3rd marriage. I'm 43 and it's just a matter of putting in the work and caring for the other person enough to put in the time.

As far as the "don't have to be married" to be happy statements go I'll just say that while that works for a few most are just staying in that partial committed pairing so it's easier to get out if needed. That sounds like a defeated plan out of the box. No true commitment if you've always got an escape plan. Just my opinion of course.

That whole men are meant to mate with more than one female blah blah blah crap is just stupid. Anyone who that quotes that isn't doing it in front of their girlfriend or what ever you call the perosn you're living with because I'd say that wouldn't sit well with them.

Point made...both parents are on their 3rd marriage.
So it makes me more committed if I get married? I think not
I have a strong relationship with my boyfriend and we are the best of friends. We do everything together and we enjoy each others company. He's not running away to go do things by himself hiding in his man cave. I'm right there doing stuff like reloading with him
I will say it again...not all couple need to be married. Not all married couples are unhappy. Just some.
Marriage isn't for me.

 

[Al Capone]

My wife has no idea how many guns I have or what I have, I'm sure your wife won't know if you sneak in the new ones, she will never know

 

[mirage243]

I did this kind of thing with my first wife and a couple of long term relationships, now I'm happily married and have been for almost 10 years, my current wife knows that I take care of my responsibilities first and then after that I do what I want, and if she *****es about it or don't like it she can get the **** out, therefore she don't say a word and it works real well, I don't tell her what she can buy and have, and she don't say sh*t to me about what I have,........... works PERFECTLY.

 

[JustAmused]

I think we need to have a group intervention,of course we will have to hold your guns and ammo till the end of the 30 days

I agree. Maybe we need to start a 12 step program for him where everyone meets in the basement of some old building drinking bad coffee and smoking cigarettes then each person stands up and says "hi my names •••• and im a ODTaholiic". Then you could admit to her you have a problem and your getting help. She would feel sorry for him and encourage him to attend these meetings and both would be happy.

 

[KauaiGirl_19]

I did this kind of thing with my first wife and a couple of long term relationships, now I'm happily married and have been for almost 10 years, my current wife knows that I take care of my responsibilities first and then after that I do what I want, and if she *****es about it or don't like it she can get the **** out, therefore she don't say a word and it works real well, I don't tell her what she can buy and have, and she don't say sh*t to me about what I have,........... works PERFECTLY.

Sounds like you have her trained well!! I'm sure you don't ***** when she wastes money on crap like deco candles....

 

[plastic dr]

If she's like my wife, she knows.

 

[ddennis]

I think this is the one problem everyone on this site with a wife faces. I always figured what she doesn't know won't hurt YOU.

There...fixed that for you...

 

[WC1911guy]

Point made...both parents are on their 3rd marriage.
So it makes me more committed if I get married? I think not
I have a strong relationship with my boyfriend and we are the best of friends. We do everything together and we enjoy each others company. He's not running away to go do things by himself hiding in his man cave. I'm right there doing stuff like reloading with him
I will say it again...not all couple need to be married. Not all married couples are unhappy. Just some.
Marriage isn't for me.

KauaiGirl,

You mis-understood. I was addressing the younger/older generation comparison not you specifically.

It sounds as if you guys have it figured out at the moment and that's great. It actually sounds like he'd probably want marriage before you so that's a bit of a reversal in traditional terms. I'm not sure how we even got onto the marriage debate.

This was supposed to be about honesty with regard to the OP's situation and I think we all agreed he should be honest with her. If anything I wrote came off as personal towards you that was not my intent. Strictly meant to be "in general" terms.

 

[Khewitt]

Why would anyone make a promise like that in the first place? And why should she care if you're trading guns? Thanks for reminding me why I'm happily divorced.

This^^^^^

I tried to have a happy marriage, I really did. But when the other person is not happy, that makes you miserable also. I refuse to live in a miserable state. We split and are both happy now. We also have a daughter. I did not want a divorce but it was the only option left on the table for my situation.

Lots of people I know are married and happy, it just didn't work for me.

 

[KauaiGirl_19]

KauaiGirl,

You mis-understood. I was addressing the younger/older generation comparison not you specifically.

It sounds as if you guys have it figured out at the moment and that's great. It actually sounds like he'd probably want marriage before you so that's a bit of a reversal in traditional terms. I'm not sure how we even got onto the marriage debate.

This was supposed to be about honesty with regard to the OP's situation and I think we all agreed he should be honest with her. If anything I wrote came off as personal towards you that was not my intent. Strictly meant to be "in general" terms.

I appreciate the apology and I may have misunderstood...my apologies back at ya.