I'm lost, sad, mad and just straight out angry

[fastfish66]

I haven't been that much for a little while due to some family stuff going on. I've been dealing with my send to the youngest brother and trying to get things taken care of helping him after his wife passed away on the June 1st. The things with her were finally done and she was cremated and the place they lived in down in FL was moved out of by my brother and his son.

Well my brother has been sick for a few years and it really all started when he came back from Iraq and got out of the Army. He was doing ok ad wasn't really doing bad and he was working fulltime as a federal security officer and he was enjoying it. Well about a two years ago he started getting sicker and was going to his doctors and he was dealing with the VA which we see now was a big mistake with the clinic he was going to down in Perry, FL.

My brother was in the middle of moving stuff up to Vidalia, GA where his ex wife and his youngest son live. I get a phone call and I'm being told he is being medevac from there to the Memorial hospital in Savannah. Well he has spent a month there and they ran all kinds of test and guess what? The same mess that happened to our dad happened to him. The VA has misdiagnosed him for the past couple of years and we find out he has acute myeloid leukemia or what they call AML.

We thought he might be getting better as they started chemo with him and he was doing good so we decided to come home for a few days to take care of stuff here. I had just brought my mother home Wednesday and then early Thursday morning I got a call since I was in charge of all medical decisions dealing with his care that we needed to get back up there as they had moved him to the ICU and he wasn't doing to good and they didn't know if he was going to make. We told them we couldn't get back until Saturday morning as we had some doctor appointments Friday morning that my mother had to attend so they briefed me on what was going on and I told them to do what they needed to do to make him comfortable.

We headed back up Saturday morning and I knew when I saw him it wasn't going to be good and he wouldn't make through the weekend but I didn't say anything to my mother or other brothers as they were all pretty upset. We were able to talk to my brother and he could acknowledge us and tried to speak but all he could do was barley whisper and shake his head. Seeing him like that brought back memories of friends and some of my soldiers that had been mortally wounded in both Iraq and Afghanistan and all I could do was talk to them telling them they would be ok knowing they wouldn't make it. Here I was telling my brother the same thing knowing deep down and in my heart and soul he wasn't going to make it to see Monday.

I believe my brother told me he had felt our dad's presence there with him in the hospital when I was last able to have a conversation with him Tuesday afternoon felt it a knew he wasn't going to make to much longer as it's like he could read my mind and I could read his and he knew I had to be the strong one for everyone as he would squeeze my hand when I was talking to him and he would look me right in the eye's while doing it.

Sunday which we all know was fathers day they doctors told us that we had to make the final decision. I talked with my other brother that was there and called my other brother who couldn't deal with seeing our brother like he was and my mother and we agreed it was time as we didn't want my brother to suffer anymore. It feel to me to make the finale decision to end all life support and so I made the one of the many hardest choices I've ever had to make and it bothers me as it was own brother that I had to make this decision for. I'm sad to say it but I am glad it is over with and now we are preparing for his service this coming Saturday which is going be even harder for all us but more so for my two remaining brothers and my mother. This has taken a toll on all of us both physically, mentally and financially we have been staying up in Savannah and coming home for a few days but it's over with now having to go up there and back and forth.

Then me and my wife had to make the painful decision to put our 12 year old pug Misty down yesterday that cost me more money I really didn't have but you do what you got to do. I keep thinking to myself what else is going to happen as I know I can't deal with anymore bad news or anything else bad happening right now. I feel as though I'm about to loose my mind with everything going.

I'm probably about to go to bed so if anyone replies to this I'll read it and respond through out the night as I haven't really been sleeping due to everything going on. If I don't respond tonight I'll check back in in the morning.

If anyone wants to stop in a leave any remarks: My brothers Obituary

Damn it brother,me and my family had to do the same for two of my brothers.You and your family will be in our prayers everyday.Godspeed.

 

[GodBlessTheUSA]

I'm sorry to hear about your father in law and as that never should happen due to how see that they want to do a half azzed job. The issue have is my brother was only being seen by the VA and they had just did this to our dad who was a 30 year career soldier himself and had passed away just over three years ago and he passed away from misdiagnosing from the VA which was cancer from Agent Orange exposure from Vietnam where he did three tours.

I go to the VA myself as I retired after serving 25 years myself. I know how the VA can screw things up with some of these doctors not caring and treating like a 9-5 job. There several of us that ended up getting one fired for his incompetence and doing stuff he shouldn't have been doing. This guy was a joke and misdiagnosing me on a few things and the lying and trying to cover it up but I am with a really good group of doctors and they have helped me get the treatment and the care I was needing.

My sincere condolences. And thank you for getting the one doc fired. I am glad you've found a good group and I pray they stay at the VA to help all veterans.

God Bless.

 

[Ghost-1]

Damn it brother,me and my family had to do the same for two of my brothers.You and your family will be in our prayers everyday.Godspeed.

Brother I'm sorry you had to do that twice. It isn't easy and it isn't fair but someone has to make the final decision and my brother knew that I could no matter how hard or how bad it hurt as he knew our other two or our mother couldn't or wouldn't and he would just suffer more.

In the back of my mind I am at ease as I knew my brother that is two years younger than me and a Navy vet as well just dosen't have it in him to make a decision like that. We also didn't want our baby brother to have to make the decision and have that small bit if regret for the rest of his life.

Me and my brother damn sure didn't want our mother to try and make the decision as it's hard enough on her as it is. We both felt it wouldn't be right for her to have to make that decision

We both knew that if later down the road anyone wants to make me the bad guy for doing then oh well so be it I'm already the bad guy in some peoples books for choices that had to be made before. I can deal with just like I've dealt with other stuff.

 

[Ghost-1]

My sincere condolences. And thank you for getting the one doc fired. I am glad you've found a good group and I pray they stay at the VA to help all veterans.

God Bless.

Thank you and yes it was a group of us that got this guy fired and I'm glad we did. From what another doctor told me there were a few that end we d up getting fired dye to complaints and them doing some shady stuff. This was happing in Tallahassee at the VA clinic and even Lake City and Gainesville. I noticed I was seeing a couple if doctors in Gainesville and things seemed off and wasn't making sense and then all of sudden my appointments were canceled and then I was being called and rescheduled with a new doctor.

I went the appointments and when I asked about certain doctors I was seeing I was given the run around or they were just telling me that they no longer worked there or had moved on. I wasn't disappointed as some of them were screwing me around on things as well.