UPS - where's my package, we're currently doing an investigation on completion we will Enlighten you of where your package might possibly be
FedEx- where's my package. We are currently routing your package through a hub in another state in order to bypass several Lanes of involve traffic
USPS- where's my package. We don't care where your package is we're not really sure you had a package if anybody sees a package with your name on it will call you don't call us
Amazon- where's my package. Dude we're already in your house you're out of beer and your salami is starting to tastes like it's going bad will have some shipped to you at no charge and here's a promo $10 off because we wipe their feet on your mat
True story...good analogy.